At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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