she was so not down for the gang bang
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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