i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
