I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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