its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
