i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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