I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
