Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
