those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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