Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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