let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
babies were throwing up all over the place
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize