i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
