perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
