Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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