glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize