After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
