I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
