forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
