I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
