He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
