Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
