my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
