We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
