its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
