this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
