DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
