You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
