Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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