tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
