i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I will pee on everything he values.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize