He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
