I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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