Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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