found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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