that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
