Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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