I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
