i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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