I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
