I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
