ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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