Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
