they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
