Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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