Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
