I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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