The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize