So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
