so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
