Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
