I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
