I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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